Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dear Tori Spelling.

Dear Tori Spelling,

Please eat something. Soon.

With Love & Hamburgers,


Saturday, May 23, 2009

She is My Queen!

Love Game by Lady Gaga is my summer jam. Do you see how she is working the camera towards the end?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

5 Lessons from Paris.

No, not Paris France. But, Paris Hilton. Seriously. I stumbled upon this article from Glamour and got a good chuckle out of it. In fact, I actually found myself nodding along. See what you think.

5 Lessons We've Learned From Paris Hilton:

1. Never be embarrassed. Sex tape? Stint in jail? Night out sans panties? Yeah. So what. Shrug your shoulders, stick your chin up and act like it’s NBD. Denial and resistance creates controversy, but go with the flow and the water runs right off your back.

2. Be your own biggest fan. If someone hacked into my Blackberry, she’d find pictures of random misspelled signs and deep fried Twinkies (not that I ate one) (OK fine, it was a dare) (OK fine, it wasn’t a dare). But not Paris. When someone swiped her sim card a few years ago, we saw pic after pic of the celebutant making various Blue Steel faces for no one in particular. And why not? You only get one face, you might as well adore it!

3. Let him treat you well. You’re not betraying your feminist roots by accepting the princess treatment with a willing smile. True love doesn’t have to be subtle. It can sparkle like keys to your new Maybach and sing like Leona Lewis, who he just happened to book for your birthday party.

4. Keep family close. Most of us stopped matching outfits with our siblings when we turned 6, but not Paris—she’ll trot down the red carpet with sister Nicky in identical dresses. Not the best look for regular folks, but follow her lead in being besties with your sis? Always a Do!

5. Never be afraid to dump a guy. I swear on all things bedazzled, there is another one around the corner. And chances are he’s hotter, richer and…well, that’s a pretty good start.

Sure, in my mind the "Paris Hiltons of the world" are what is wrong with society, but I think these points are surprisingly true. What do you think?


I am really craving a tall mojito right about now. The weather
is delicious outside and I think a mojito would be a nice compliment.
The Salsa Room in Arlington has excellent mojitos, chock full of flavor,
mint, lime and sugary rum. Yes, please! What are you craving?

Friday, May 15, 2009

World Record at William & Mary!

Virginia college William & Mary has broken a world record for having the most people dance simultaneously to Michael Jackson's Thriller. The previous record was 147 at a school in Great Britain. I think my new summer goal will be to break this record. Whose got a boom box and lots of beer?

Where Is My Inhaler?

The lovely Chris Pine graces the cover
of this month's GQ. Wow. Just wow.

"Don't I look dapper?"

So spiffy.

You're welcome.

Reason Number 543 Why I Love Gaga!

"I would never even think about it (lip synching). The whole point to me is, if you’re gonna be number one, you better really be fucking number one. If you’re gonna be on top, you better be able to do all those things, because it’s a real privilege to be able to make music everyday, and I get away with a lot…Andy Warhol says art is what you can get away with, and I get away with a lot with my music and my clothes, and I work really hard so I could truly be a real artist for all my fans. That’s really fucked up when you lip-synch.”

God, I love her.

I think it's actually insulting that artists these days think that they can get up on stage and lipsync. Give me a break. Gaga forever! Sidenote: I wish I could rock a hair-bow. Side-sidenote: I am feelin' her Versace shades.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wish List Part 1,351,463!

I would be so modern day Elizabeth Taylor in this necklace, no?
I have been lovin' on this necklace for over a year. Every few months I go
back to check the website and, oh yea, it's still $757.00 Bummer.

It's very 'sipping-gin-and-tonics-on-my-chase-lounge-wearing-my-jewels-
for-no-reason-at-all,' no? One day when I am not living in a shoe-box and metaphorically
eating Ramen Noodles I will adorn my neck with jewels like this, thankyouverymuch!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Cruise Countdown.

So, I'm leaving for a cruise in 12 days. Jealous? I have never
been on a cruise and have some idea of what to expect but...
For any of your jet set divas or gents out there who have been
on a cruise, do you you have any advice? What do I need to
bring (besides the obvious sunscreen, bathing suit, blah blah)?
What should I expect? Any suggestions are welcome!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Pressured to Get Married?

Cup of Jo-Joanna's Smitten blog recently touched on an interesting topic, involving marriage and whether or not your parents pressure you to get married.

So, do your parents pressure you to get married? Do you ever hear the, "When am I going to have grand-kids?" speech or "Has be propsed yet?"

My mom is under the 'live out your twenties until you get married/you have the rest of your life to be married' mindset. She's told me numerous times to wait until marriage. As for my dad, I am pretty sure that he would have a heart-attack if I got married anytime soon. So in short, no, my parents don't pressure me to get married. Thank God. But, what about you? And if you're already hitched, did your parents pressure or pester you?

18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have.

According the Men's Health Magazine (and this is written by men, right?) these are 18 things a grown man should never have:

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.

4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.

7. An unstamped passport.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.

10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.

13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, "Take me on your futon."

14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else's office.

16. A secret handshake.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald's Hamburglar ones.

18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…"

I would also like to add to the list:

19) Children's lunch box.

20) Mother who packs that lunch/mother who does any of your chores, for that matter.

Ladies, what do we think? I have agree with most of this list, although I think buying a case of Miller or Bud is perfectly acceptable (but that's just me). Thoughts?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


There has been a rise in suicides among children as young as 11 years-old.

11 year-old Jaheem Bermudez hung himself after much anti-gay taunting. Another 11 year-old, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, hung himself after weeks of bullying for allegedly being gay. These emotionally battered children were called "fag" and "gay" and "feminine" by their own classmates.

ABC News recently wrote a very telling article about Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover and how words and phrases like, "that's so gay" and "fag" can drive a child to suicide. I am a big advocate of erasing the word "fag" from your vocabulary and think these sad and tragic stories prove that exact point. I hope these stories resonate with you as much as they do with me.

Another Reason I Love Ray's Hell Burger.

I love Ray's Hell Burger and have since my first juicy bite. I have been raving about this place for awhile now, and apparently President Obama got wind about these amazing burgers as well.

Check out Northern Virginia Magazine's write up about the president's burger pit-stop here.

When the owners refused to accept Obama and Biden's money, Obama chirped in by saying, "We gotta pay. See all these people here? [motioning to the reporters on hand during the surprise visit] They’ll write about how we were freeloading."

Friday, May 1, 2009

Miss USA Organization Pays for Breast Implants.

As if there hasn't been enough controversy surrounding Miss California there's more. It seems that Miss California's breast implants were, in fact, helped paid for by the pageant organization, according to a CBS News article.

"It's not something that we endorse, nor is it something that we suggest," Lewis continued. "But when we meet with the title-holder, when she's crowned Miss California, we put to her a litany of questions about how she feels about herself, what she feels she needs to work on, what she may need to change, what is good, what is not good. We want to put her in the best possible confidence in order to present herself in the best possible light on a national stage."

First, why does Miss California need fake breasts to be confident? Second, what type of message are they sending to people across the United States (let alone the world) about beauty? And why do having implants help her chances of winning the crown?

So, let's recap what the pageant organization is telling us through their actions: In order to be the beautiful and in the running to actually win one of these pageants you need to change yourself and get plastic surgery.

I am sure that plenty of these beauty queens have had work done on them, but not paid for by the pageant organization. This absolutely disgusts me. No wonder 17 year old girls are getting breast implants. Is anybody else disgusted by this?